Enough With the Petty. It's Time to Celebrate Your Fellow Goddess

It happens far too often: insecurities hijack our minds, and jealousy rears its ugly head. Women, in particular, can fall into the trap of pettiness, all for what? A fleeting hit of dopamine? As I've talked about before, this is a colossal waste of mental energy.

Why do we feel the need to diminish others, or worse, whisper behind their backs? I witness it constantly, not just with my teenage children, but among my adult peers. And here's my uncomfortable truth: I'm ashamed to admit, I've participated in such behavior, and I've felt absolutely terrible afterward. It's disturbingly easy to get sucked into gossip and judgment – misery loves company, right? But let's be brutally honest: WE ALL DO IT.

I've met parents who swear their child would never gossip about or bully anyone, they practice “kindness” in their household, yet in my experience, their children are often the ringleaders, reflecting behaviors they witness at home. Our kids are always observing us. My children compete in sports, and I see this dynamic regularly, even with my own kids. It doesn’t make us bad people or parents; it's a common struggle as we (and they) navigate complex social landscapes.

But this brings me back to my core question: As adults, why do we continue to tear each other down when we should be lifting each other up? Especially us women. Life is hard enough. We should be banding together, hands firmly on each other's backs, ready to celebrate our fellow goddesses.

My daughter dances in a world that demands perfection, a world that constantly seeds self-doubt and insecurity. Yet, it’s also a community of beautiful misfits – artists striving to express their most authentic selves without words. To outsiders, it might look like an episode of "Dance Moms" – all costumes, sequins, makeup, and warring mothers. When people find out I’m a dance mom, that’s almost always the first question: 'Is it really like the show?'

My answer? No. And sometimes, yes. Is there jealousy and gossip? Of course. But are the moms constantly bickering? Not that I've witnessed. Is my daughter friends with everyone at the studio? No. But does she cheer for and genuinely support everyone there? One hundred percent, yes. I wish I could take all the credit, but I truly applaud our studio owner and staff for always setting the intention to foster a culture of support among the dancers.

When I danced 25 years ago, it was a cutthroat, competitive, and often lonely road. But that experience shaped me, giving me a crucial perspective on how to treat and uplift others. I've never been afraid to approach someone I don't know and offer a genuine compliment. It's become second nature, and my soul fills with pride when I notice my own children doing the same. It's living proof: they are always watching us, modeling their behavior after ours.

As women, we must make it a non-negotiable point to always seek the good in one another, to lift each other up, and to celebrate that powerful inner goddess in every single woman we encounter.

Your Homework, UnSettled Readers:

This week, make it a point to compliment a fellow goddess. Whether you know her or not. Maybe you love her dress, her hair, or perhaps she just has a smile that lights up the room. That small, intentional act of celebrating her could completely change her day, or even her life. We have no idea what battles others are struggling with, and there is absolutely no reason to add to their burden.

So, the next time you find yourself among a group of 'Negative Nellys,' take the opportunity to gently remind them, and yourself, that our purpose is to support each other, not tear one another down. If they balk, then perhaps they weren't meant to be in your vibrant circle in the first place.

Be free to celebrate one another. Celebrate yourself. Be the goddess you were always meant to be.

Tag a fellow Goddess in your life who lifts you up