The Loner's Superpower

I went to a gathering with some girlfriends a few weeks ago and, on a whim, decided to have my tarot cards read. I try not to take these things too seriously, but a single card she pulled immediately struck a chord: The Hermit. The reader looked at me and said, "You have a lot of people around you, but you feel alone.  A loner.” She was absolutely right, but what she didn’t know is that I don't see it as a bad thing. I actually crave my alone time. It’s my space to breathe, think, and meditate. It's the one thing I intentionally seek out on a daily basis.

So, when did being a loner become a stigma? For too long, movies and books have conditioned us to believe that a "loner" is the "weirdo," the outsider, or the bad guy. But every once in a while, the loner is the hero. What if we don't have to be either? What if solitude isn't a personality trait but a crucial act of self-preservation? My husband is the epitome of a loner;  even though he has a number of “friends”,  he cherishes his alone time, he even goes out to eat by himself and sometimes prefers it. How many of us have looked at that solo diner and felt a pang of pity? But what if they aren't lonely? What if they are simply choosing to be present with themselves?

I believe all of us have a little loner in us. It’s where we go to recenter and recharge. My daughter sometimes comes home from dance complaining about feeling like the "weird kid" who has no one to talk to even though she has friends. I told her that’s not a weakness; it can be her superpower.  Take advantage of those moments to work on her craft and lock in.   Sometimes you have to step away from the noise to grow.  As a result, she’s learned to be comfortable in her own skin and doesn’t let other’s opinions affect her.  My own quiet moments on girls' trips allow me to reset my mindset so I can be more present with my friends. Solitude is the breeding ground for creativity, problem-solving, and inner strength. It's the space where we can hear our own thoughts above the noise of the world.

So why do we feel so uncomfortable being on our own? It's time to normalize and empower solitude. It's not about being antisocial; it's about being intentional. It's about refusing to fill every empty moment with distraction and learning to be comfortable in your own company. Because at the end of the day, that's the one relationship you'll have for life.

Being a loner isn't a social deficiency; it's an act of choosing yourself. It’s time to embrace that power, and choose you.