The Uncomfortable Truth: Are We Really Working as Hard as We Think?

Like so many of us, I'm a mom of athletes. All my kids play competitive sports, traveling constantly, and like so many children today, they harbor dreams of going pro. As parents, we become our children's biggest cheerleaders, and I'm a huge believer in supporting their dreams. But I also believe we owe them a more important truth: the one about realistic goals.

I see it all the time: parents with unrealistic expectations, believing the money and time we pour into our children's athletic dreams automatically guarantee a spot at the next level. I have two boys who play baseball and a daughter who dances – both incredibly expensive and time-consuming commitments. Other sports present similar scenarios. The misconception that has become the norm? That if we start our kids young enough, invest enough money, they will become the next GOAT (Greatest Of All Time) in their field. This is a toxic belief that far too many of us have fooled ourselves into accepting.

My advice? Have a backup plan. Because in reality, the work, discipline, and raw talent it takes to become a professional athlete are simply brutal.

I have a child who is currently a collegiate athlete, and this level has been a humbling experience for him. Many of his friends, also collegiate athletes, are struggling with playing time. My own child, blessed with natural ability (perhaps a hereditary gift from having two professional athletes as parents - even though mine was short lived), has recently faced similar challenges. Sometimes, you have to acknowledge that even if something comes easy to you, it doesn't to others. That natural gift can be taken for granted, especially when you're suddenly surrounded by teammates who've fought tooth and nail for every second of playing time.

This forces us, as parents, to give our kids a hard truth: 'Perhaps you are not working as hard as you think you are.' It's incredibly difficult to look in the mirror and be completely honest with yourself.

For me personally, I knew early on I would never be a prima ballerina. Yes, I worked relentlessly, immersing myself in technique. But the reality was, I simply didn't possess that ultimate natural talent. My natural skills lay elsewhere, and I had the incredible opportunity to choreograph for those more talented than I. It was a very humbling experience, but once I accepted that truth, an entirely new world opened up to me.

I'm currently on a dance journey with my daughter, whose talent far exceeds my own. Yet, she still gets frustrated. She doesn’t always get the roles she desires, or the invitations she feels she deserves. The other day, I asked her: 'Are you working as hard as you think you are?' She paused, then admitted that she could work harder.

I often discuss the 10,000-hour theory with my children – the idea that to truly master your craft, you must invest at least 10,000 hours. How many of us truly make such a commitment? I'm not advocating for continuous, year-round grind; I'm a big proponent of rest and balance. But I'm also a realist. Yes, put in the time to perfect your craft, but also listen to your body. The 'off-season' exists in professional sports for a reason.

Far too many kids today are undergoing surgeries to repair torn ligaments and tendons (my own son included). Youth, year-round sports have become a relentless money-making machine at the expense of our children's bodies and our family's well-being. It's become out of control! It’s time to take back control of our families and our lives.

I haven’t been on a vacation with my family that had nothing to do with extracurricular activities or sports since 2018. I haven't had a vacation with just my husband that wasn't work-related since 2011. To me, that's unacceptable. We, too, have been sucked into the trap of youth sports dominating our lives.

For what? Are my kids going to become the next superstar MVPs? No. Are they physically talented? Yes. Do they have backup plans in case they don't make millions as the next GOAT? Absolutely. And then, there's the real question: Did they work as hard as they could to reach that elite level? Probably Not. Because in reality, the percentage of people who possess that type of self discipline and who actually make it to that level is infinitesimally small. Social media and mainstream media often paint a cruel mirage of reality.

Our family has a personal friend whose sole goal is to become a professional athlete – perhaps even an MVP. We've watched him sacrifice parts of his childhood to pursue that dream. Was he working as hard as he could? Yes. Did he put in his 10,000 hours? Yes! Did he get to do all the things normal teenagers do? No. But he felt a different, undeniable calling. The majority of us are simply not willing to make that level of sacrifice for a success that is never guaranteed.

So what I'm truly trying to say is this: Celebrate your child’s gifts, but not at the expense of everything. Take the vacation. Allow your child to forge their own path, not yours. Play the sports, yes, but don't let them take over your entire life (easier said than done – believe me, I'm a dance mom; I get it). Remember to create that essential balance, and carve out time for yourself and your partner. It's important.

I want to hear about your journey to reclaiming freedom from your kids' activities. What boundaries have you set? What have you rediscovered?