Why Do We Apologize for Self-Care? It's Time to Choose YOU.

People often ask me about my skin. Greek genetics and a Mediterranean diet certainly  play their part, but there's one habit I believe has made the biggest impact: ever since I  turned 30, I've treated myself to a monthly facial. 

The reaction I often get? 'Oh, that must be nice. Not everyone can afford that.' 

And I totally get it. At first glance, a monthly facial might seem like a luxury. But when I  look at the cost of maintaining nails, hair coloring, or even certain gym memberships,  the price difference often isn't as vast as we imagine. I don't get regular mani/pedis (in  fact, until recently my last manicure was almost two years ago!). It’s not that I don’t  enjoy pampering myself – I absolutely do – but I'm mindful of both time and money. I  budget a specific amount each month, and I consistently choose my face. It's the first  thing people see, and for me personally, it's a commitment to long-term self-care,  naturally and gracefully. I'm have not dove into Botox or fillers; my goal is authentic aging. 

But there’s a deeper reason why that 'must be nice' response bothers me. Why, instead of a simple compliment, must there be a subtle dig? Why do we, as women, hesitate to celebrate self-care and choose ourselves more often? 

Think back to our younger years. Most of us cherished 'girly spa days' or 'spa slumber  parties' with friends – face masks, hair treatments, doing each other's nails. I watch my  own daughter do the same now (though social media has her far more advanced in the  art of self-care than I ever was!). And here's the thing: you don't need a fancy spa or  

big bucks. There are countless at-home treatments that are much lighter on the wallet. 

So, is the real issue just finding the time for ourselves? I know we moms have  overflowing plates. Even women without kids, juggling demanding careers, often  relegate self-care to the bottom of the list. Time and money are valid concerns, yes,  but I still wonder: is there another, unspoken reason for this hesitation? 

Is it the fear of being seen as selfish? Or worse, the subtle (or not-so-subtle) resistance  from partners when we decide to put ourselves first? I’ve watched friends get married,  have children, and in their effort to 'do it all,' seemingly 'let themselves go.' Then, when  they finally try to 'get themselves back,' they face resistance. Sometimes, this cycle  tragically ends in divorce, with an ex suddenly 'shacking up' with a new partner who  'always looks perfect' and clearly prioritizes self-care. I believe this cycle is far more  common than we admit, and it's a cycle that absolutely must be broken. 

I look at my daughter and her friends, and I love their interest in maintaining their well being in a healthy way. Recently, I took my daughter for a special occasion manicure. A  few weeks later, she wanted them redone, offering her own money. When the bill came,  her eyes widened. A chunk of her Christmas money gone for two weeks of beautiful  nails. This sparked a crucial conversation about self-care, cost, and the balance  between DIY and professional services. We talked about budgeting and how to make  her desired self-care sustainable. 

For me, that monthly facial is $1400 a year – very similar to the cost of year-round nail maintenance. I’ve supported the same amazing esthetician for years. When I budget, I consciously set aside that hour and cost for myself. And I don't feel guilty. I don't 

allow others to make me feel bad for taking care of myself. You get one body in this  life; it's your temple, and it deserves to be cared for. 

Regardless of whether you can afford a spa or salon, you need to take time for  yourself. I often see the quote: "Don’t forget to put yourself on your list of things to take  care of this week." This resonates deeply because, as busy women, we perpetually put  ourselves at the very bottom of that list – if we make the list at all. When did we stop  prioritizing ourselves? My personal rationale is simple: if I'm not operating at my best,  then no one in my family is. 

I'm often told I seem peaceful and calm. Honestly, I think I have everyone fooled! In  reality, I'm like a duck: smooth on top of the water, but my feet are constantly kicking.  My secret? I purposefully carve out time for myself every single day. Whether it's five  minutes of meditation or a thirty-minute bubble bath, that time is sacred and I need it.

And I'm extending that invitation to you. Your homework for this week, UnSettled readers, is to consciously carve out time for yourself, every single day. Take a walk, soak in the bath, give yourself a facial, or simply find a peaceful place to sit, be  still, and shut out the noise. Dedicate that time to you. I am confident you will notice a  shift, even if subtle. It's time to make yourself a priority, because regardless of your  situation, you deserve to love yourself more. 

YOU ARE WORTH IT.